Wild is the night and deep is the river the wind seems to be in a frenzy as I try to enter the water to begin my way up to the cove. I just hope that I can make it in time to bring the desperate help that is needed. It has taken me so much longer than I had anticipated and I needed to be back hours ago. The weather has been such a factor in my trying to get the supplies I needed to get to my husband. I know when I left he was so weak and in need of medication and nutrition. I was so scared and my strength had been drained I am not even sure I can make it back to our campsite in time to save this man that I loved so much.
So I strap the supplies to myself get into the boat and begin my trek up the river hoping and praying that the boat can make this trip without going under. To say I was scared is nothing as to how I was really feeling. So as I began my trip I did the only thing I knew to do and that was to pray and praise God and thank Him for making my way, trying to trust the only truth I knew.
I could barely see where I was going and was straining to look for the campsite. I was beginning to think I had passed it when I seen our camper I got over to the shore, got out of the boat tied it down and ran to my husband waiting inside. When I went in I was shocked he was sitting up and looking weak but alive. I asked him how are you, what happened you look better? As he began to speak I sat down and was amazed at the story he began to tell me. He said as soon as I left he began to sing, he sang his prayers to God and as he did this the sickness began to lift. At first he thought it was a fluke and was leery but the more he sang the better he was feeling. Then he said he began to cry he wasn’t sure why but he felt a burden being lifted and something was overtaking him. He felt as though Jesus was sitting right there with him, holding him and taking care of him. It was as if he was floating and it was like a dream but he knew it was not a dream, he really was alone and in the care of Jesus. After what seemed to be a few minutes but in actuality it had been a few hours. He began to feel himself sitting up in the bed and his head and body began to come back down and reconnect with his body. Then he asked Jesus what just happened and He said my son you have always wondered if I was real you have looked at me with questions and just been unsure of the reality of Me. You accepted me into your heart, you believed I was your healer, your Lord and you wanted me to be the head of your life.
You had so many questions and didn’t know what to ask first last or in between. So as a child is you became and began to inquire of Me. You asked questions that only you knew you asked. You wanted to feel the realness of Me. Your childlikeness was refreshing and I so wanted to show you all my majesty. So as you sang your praises to Me I came into them and byway of them I have ministered to your spirit, your health and to your soul. From this day forward you will never be the same, your life is now my life. I was so captivated by the story I was not looking at the man the man I loved my husband. As he kept talking he told me of the kingdom of God, it is nothing like we think the heaven that we go to is, and it is above and beyond our wildest imagination. Dreams come true, life is the ultimate. You can’t believe the love and acceptance that is there, the warmth of being wrapped in the arms of the Savior. There are no words to describe it. I am sorry I must leave you my beautiful wife, you have been my everything and you were the best of the best. God will handle all of the details, you just need to hold his hand. Remember my hand that you loved to hold, well His hand is better. Take His word use it to live your life to its fullest. Look into His eyes and see the love that is there for only you. Carol He loves you just believe it and don’t give up. Love never ends and abounds with goodness and mercy. Know that I love you and am waiting to see you again. You did not fail me, you are not going to fail in life. I didn’t want to leave you but the Lord had a plan for me and He has a plan for you.
My desire for you is to prosper and be in good health. To live and love to the fullest. To tell others of all your adventures, good, bad and ugly hard. There is life in the stories of our life. Tell others of my love, the love affair that became the ultimate story of my short but amazing life to and for Jesus. Let me tell you it was short but it is never ending and even better now. I want you to honor God in all you do. And I want you to know God has an amazing and awesome plan for you. Your life will be full and your hair renewed beyond what you think. It is true you can love 2 men at the same time. You loved me and you love Jesus, so you will find another love. Don’t look, it will find you. Do not be ashamed there is now no more condemnation for those who love Jesus Christ. I love you my Honey my Carol don’t let go of life live it to its fullest. Let me go. I am forever with you, but I have my own journey to go on with Jesus. You are right, it is not good by, I WILL see you soon. I Love You Carol don’t forget us, but become you. You have so many great traits and abilities I am with you in spirit my love with you forever. Go find your destiny.
I began to realize this story had taken a different turn, it had turned to I didn’t get back in time, it was too late Mike was dying he was leaving me, he was going into the Fathers Arms and wasn’t coming back. I grabbed him and tried to hold on, my heart begging no please no. His last breath left his body and I could see a peace I had never seen on his face and knew he was gone. My heart began to break, I knew not what to do. I knew there was no help anywhere near me so I began to pray and praise God in a new and humble way. I watched the sky open, the angels sing and my husband entered into His gates. He turned, smiled and blew me a kiss. I knew he was happy really happy for the very first time in his life. I smiled, waved and blew him a kiss, mouthed I love you as he did back and then he was gone.
I was feeling numb as I heard noise outside, it was help, it was our rescue but it was too late. Or was it? It appeared a horrible event had just happened but deep in my heart I knew all was well with my husband and all would be well with me.
